Jan 11
24
Astrological Fallacy
Hank was working on a spaceship that had been waiting on an interstellar red light for over 17 hours. It could turn green any minute now but it was nice to get a chance to stand still and think about the subtle qualities of life every now and then.
Oh, how excellent it was not to have to use a vacuum cleaner wasting all that energy through a socket in the wall. Now he could just plug in a hose directly into the wall and suck all the lint into cold outer space. Let some other life form deal with that garbage! Conversely he could now waste 30 billion BTU’s on an ionic drive.
With the absence of gravity there would be no more horrors of dangerously flourishing womens tricepses and other female body parts, if only he were closer than a few light-years away from any woman alive.
Dead women however, there was a local excess of. All eight of his excruciatingly beautiful team members had recently expired in a tragic ping-pong accident and how he had to hurry his way to a proper mortuary. In the past 17 hours the team had really started to rot and to make matters worse Hank had eaten a large meal of chili the previous day.
There had not passed a single vehicle in all that time and Hank was now seriously overcome by the stench and it ruined his concentration to daydream about subtleties. Finally he could not take it a moment longer, he floored it and felt the ship creaking in its joints building up an incredible momentum. Out of nowhere from the hard left the ship was intercepted by another one crossing the intersection. In the violent collision as moments passed in slow-motion he saw the sudden loss in cabin pressure suck all of the stink out, and then it vacuumed the interior veritably spotless. He was immensely relieved in an ecstatic and cathartic instant right before joining his team into an early astrophysical grave.
